Hey, pals!
My name is April, but you can call me April.
Soooo what can I tell you about me? I guess I'll start with the basics: I'm 19 years old, and I'm a college sophomore. I am currently trying to figure out what I want in life, and its kind of complicated, and I guess we will progressively see how that goes. I'm pretty chill, I guess. I like to have friends over to my apartment and hang out. I like to make people laugh, read books, watch Netflix, cook, smoke, drink wine, and learn shit!
I just got out of a two year relationship, about a week and a half ago. He was a really great guy, and I think he's the kind of guy that I would want to settle down with and grow old with and all that jazz. Buuuut I am nowhere near ready to settle down and grow old. I want adventure and travel and excitement galore!! I don't want to be tied down to one person, who, I'm honestly not even sure I'm in love with. Plus, I really enjoy having sex. Its just something that I want to do every day at least once, because it relieves stress, it's pleasurable, and I'm good at it! But The Ex was like, "Ehh once a week, and I'm good. Never multiple times a day."
Plus, The Ex was very very against drugs of any kind and even drinking a sip of alcohol. Also, he was set in his semi-conservative, no fun, ways. Whereas I am someone who wants to try everything at least once, and I want to constantly keep my mind open to new thoughts and ideas.
So now, I am just trying to understand who I am without him. I've learned a lot so far. I like to be around people. Not, like, a lot of people, but just a few friends in my apartment dicking around and having fun. I don't like to overthink things. The Ex was always looking at life as if it were a chess game. Every move carefully planned out; every word out of his mouth painstakingly mulled over. I would rather do whatever pops into my head, and say things that I think are funny, even if they are weird or whatever. I like to be different. I love acting and drawing and singing (even if I suck) and being creative. There are so many things in life that I had forgotten how to enjoy!
Not all of my lost interests actually had anything to do with The Ex, honestly though. I was recently diagnosed with depression, and I was put on medication for it. So I am kind of coming out of a nearly year-long fog. I've known that the little dark episodes that I have were depression for years, truth be told. I just dealt with it and covered it up because I didn't want to admit it. However, I was in a state of depression for so long this time that I had forgotten what it was like to feel 'normal'. I tried to make myself get help multiple times. I had to set up three counseling sessions before I finally had the balls to go to one. I'm so glad I did go, though!
Anyway, life is looking up, and now I have energy to do things that I enjoy, so I decided to start a blog. It seems like a way to expand my writing skills and my creativity. Thank you for reading it! I hope you have the best day ever!!
XOXO
April
